My Daily Morning Auction

Sometimes I think my mornings are some kind of reverse auction.

“This morning’s alarm starts us off at sixteen minutes, ladies and gentlemen,* sixteen minutes until you can no longer catch the 7:53 to San Francisco. Can I get any takers at sixteen?”

“One snooze later leaves us at twelve minutes. Can I get twelve? Twelve minutes from bed to door? Twelve?”

“Eleven? Do I have eleven?”

“Ten! Ten minutes to on-time! Do I have—seven! We are at seven, ladies and gentlemen, seven minutes from bed to car . . .”

“Four minutes! Four minutes! Going once, twice, sold to the beautiful bleary-eyed woman in red plaid flannel pajamas.”**

People are right. Auctions are nerve-wracking, but it’s oh so exhilarating when you beat the train!



*Phrase used for dramatization purposes only. Advertised bed is single-occupancy.

**Trained occupant on a prepared course. Do not attempt.


3 thoughts on “My Daily Morning Auction

  1. lisa says:

    the scary part is so many folks do the same thing — bleary eyed drivers heading to BART or wherever!
    I am laughing out loud, thank you for bringing laughter to my day!

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